What NOT to Say to the Newly Unemployed

Sunday’s New York Times had a terrific article on what is – and is not – appropriate to say when someone close to you becomes a member of the newly unemployed (“Navigating a Delicate Subject: The Layoff of a Friend”). Reporter Alina Tugen writes, “First, hold off on the platitudes. (If) someone has lost their job, it is not the time for you to offer upbeat suggestions.” She says that among the more insensitive responses to someone getting layed off are these:

“Y’know, things happen for a reason.”
“This could be a huge opportunity for you.”
“Well, when one door closes, another opens.”
“Oh my God. What are you going to do?”
“Did you know this was going to happen?”
“Did you see this coming?’
“Have you looked online?”
“Y’know, in this economy finding a job could take awhile.”

Tugend writes that most of us want to say the right thing, but it often comes out wrong or clumsy. And if YOU are the one who lost the job, it might help to cut your friends and relatives some slack. After all, writes Tugend, “Most people’s moronic comments are rooted in kindness.”